There’s nothing more heartbreaking for me, as a parent, to watch my youngest son (he’s five) struggle to fit in with his classmates. He’s just not like them. Never has been, never will be. He tends to play on a different level, and frankly, I think they look at him as if he’s from an alien world.
And don’t even get me started on the three boys in his class who have told him “they are not his friend” and how much this bothers him even though I’ve repeatedly told him that boys like that are not worth having as a friend in the first place.
And then, there’s the emotional outbursts that he’s had from day one at Preschool. At times, they seem to get better, until he has a complete meltdown. The thought of him in Kindergarten next year terrifies me.
BUT, this week we’ve made a revelation. I had a chat with his teacher who showed me his evaluation and told me that she’s been doing some research on his behavior. You see, he’s incredibly intelligent, but his social skills leave much to be desired. She thinks he may have Asperger’s syndrome and suggested he get screened (which I’ve made an appointment for).
Reading up on Asperger’s syndrome I’ve found that these children usually have extremely high intelligence, yet low social intelligence. High Functioning Asperger’s (HFA) is most likely where my son would fit in. Here’s what one website has to say about HFA:
Asperger’s Syndrome (or Disorder) is a pattern of behavior in which the child has average, even extraordinary intelligence, but is significantly lacking in what we now call “social intelligence.”
This seemingly paradoxical combination of a well-functioning intellect in the presence of a poor “social intellect,” has, in the past, made diagnosis confusing. To make matters worse, children with Aspergers Syndrome are more different from one another, than they are alike, with differing areas of difficulty, as well. The result was and at times, remains, misdiagnoses, based on elements of behavior that could fit into any number of other Disorders such as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Not otherwise specified), ADD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder (SILD) OCD, and more.
Because of their anxiety in social situations they have difficulty reading and integrating these social cues and thus misinterpret literal and implied meanings. Dealing with puns, metaphors, creativity and symbolic meaning uses holistic processing.
They don’t seem to “get it “ socially. The rules of social interaction seem a mystery to them.
By contrast, sequential thinking is logical, deals with the coding and decoding of meaning in terms of the relationship of elements within a sequence. HFA’s are more comfortable and skilled in this area. This is the reason they may be academically successful and have superior skills in one of their special interest areas.
Although we won’t know for sure until we get him screened, this sounds a lot like my son. And I’m hoping if this is the case, having a ‘diagnosis’ will get him the help he needs when he starts Kindergarten instead of having him labeled as a behavior problem, and him slipping through the cracks of the system because school will frustrate him.
I do worry about him though. He is a very special boy, and I don’t want his frustration and his inability to communicate his feelings as well as he should, drive all that unique spark out of him. I forsee a lot of extr
a hugs and snuggles in his future.
And, hey, Einstein and Newton were both thought to be HFA. So, at least my son will be in good company. ;)
