Archive for August, 2006

Yesterday I received an R from an agent. I’m not at all upset about it. For one, this agent had this project (my last ms) under consideration for 11 months (all total…partial…to full) and I’d already ‘written it off’. And since, I’ve started focusing on my romantic suspense manuscript, I really feel like maybe this might be my nitch. So, I’m moving on.

However, it was a nice letter, and the agent said that my project was well written and had great potential, but the overall execution did not live up to the premise. Having distance from that project and insight gained while writing my romantic suspense, I have to agree.

I mentioned to my husband that I always seem to get R’s that basically say I have wonderful potential …. BUT. Which, of course, got me thinking. How can I cure myself of the ‘Buts’? Is it just that I have great ideas yet fail when it comes to plotting? I’ve always been a horrible plotter, so I can see that this is my downfall. I’ve been trying SO hard to make this romantic suspense plot a compelling, twisting, interesting one. And, I hope I’m succeeding.

Only time will tell if I’ve gotten rid of the Buts!

Yesterday I was outside with Daredevil. We were babysitting the neighbor’s toddler, so I was keeping an eye on the boy, when suddenly Daredevil says,

“I just wanted to see what was inside it.”

“Umm….inside what?”

“The roly poly bug.”

Okay, not good. “What did you do?”

“I tore it in half.”

Lovely.

“But I won’t do it again.”

Well, that’s good to know! :)

* * * * * *

And writing related:

Guess what I did? I decided to take the plunge and enter my first (fee) contest. The only contests I’ve partcipated in up to now is the Romance Diva’s We All Win contests. For me, I find it hard to justify shelling out money for contests, but when I saw that one of the RWA contests extended their deadline because they needed entries, and then saw that the final judge for the Romantic Suspense category is an editor for Random House (in fact, I think she’s Suzanne Brockmann’s editor), well, some little insane bugger in my head kept whispering, “do it”.

So, I asked my husband if I should enter, figuring he’d tell me it’s a complete waste of money, and thus, quell this overbearing urge to enter, but no, he says, “Sure. Go ahead.” So, if my entry ends up a complete and total failure, I’ll just blame him. :)

I just emailed my entry and I feel like I’m gonna hurl. I want so much to final because I’d LOVE to get feedback from such a great editor, but I’m trying to keep a lid on it, because part of me feels like I have about as much chance of finalling as winning the Publisher’s Clearinghouse sweepstakes.

I sure hope this feeling goes away! :???:

It’s funny how your children’s triumphs and mistakes can teach you things.

Daredevil has struggled with his handwriting the entire summer. We tried to work on it because I was determined that he’d at least be able to legibly write his name by the time he entered Kindergarten, but whenever I’d set him up at the table with paper and pen, I’d inevitably be met with a frustrating (for both him and me) meltdown.

So, yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, he picks up a pen that was lying on the table and says to me “I think I want to write something.” I go and get him a piece of notebook paper, figuring he’ll scribble something on the page and be done with it. To my amazement, he proceeds to write. his. name. I think I screamed “I’m so proud of you!”, because there it was, his name written perfectly between the lines just like was expected of him at school. It was a beautiful sight–I’m saving the paper. If you could only know what a contention handwriting has been, you’d completely understand.

It hit home something for me that I hadn’t really thought about until yesterday. The difference between ability and desire. For all his “I can’t, I can’t, I can’ts” and his “It’s too hard!”, it was never about his lack of ability to write his name. It was all about lack of desire. As soon as he wanted to do it, he penned his name like a pro, because his desire was strong.

A lot of writers have the ability to craft a good story, but lack the desire to put the time and dedication to “just do it”. I’m guilty of it. When I’ve had a rough day, and my motivation is next to nothing, I can’t summon the desire to write, and I’m forced to whine about how “I can’t do it !” “It’s too hard!”. But, these whines don’t come from that lack of ability, just lack of desire at that particular moment.

And, here’s where I learned something from watching my son: If I want to be successful as an author, it’s not enough to write only when I have the desire. What if the desire only strikes me once a month? Where’s the success in that?

No, to fulfill my dreams of publication, I have to write…to find that desire to write…through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Can I do it? I have no idea. But, here’s where I say, “I think I can” and give it my best shot.